Life...Love...Prosperity

I did not want to get up today!

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:34:48 GMT

I tell you what, man I was so tired today I wanted to just roll over and catch some Zzzs. The weirdest thing of all was that right before waking up I was dreaming that I was at Carrabbas eating the bread and dipping it in the olive oil mixed with garlic...for no reason. Strange. Now I want Carrabbas...LOL! Anywho, this Thanksgiving Break was alright. It was too short. I swear, the days went by so fast and didn't get to spend enough time with my sister. Oh well, she'll be back. Her hubbs leaves for Iraq today and then she leaves at the end of this week to Afghanistan for a year. So prayers are going out to them now, well we already prayed but still, we need all the prayer we can get!

One cool thing tho is when they come back to visit the family, they will be stationed in Germany. Dude, I don't care how I'm going to get there, but I'm going to Germany. Hopefully I'll have a better job by then. I will be getting paid the way I should be getting paid. Plus next year I'll be planning for my wedding! Yay! I begin January 1st! I think I'll do exactly how my cousin told me to do it. Each month I plan one thing, and then the next month I'll plan the next thing. Then the year of 2011 is when all things will come to pass. I just have to write down exactly what I gotta do. I need to find an alternate place to hold the ceremony and if possible the reception. I need to find a theme. I know that Will and I have a theme in mind but we don't know exactly what to call it. I need to find my dress. That is going to be very emotional for me because I'm in the process of losing weight and I would love to only be taking the dress in and not letting it out. The smaller I get, the more options I will have. (Isn't that sad?)

I'm looking for a dress that is somewhat old fashioned yet still up to date. Plus I love the fantastical style. I'm more so looking at a Lord of the Rings style dress. Kinda like the one Arroin (I guess that's how you spell her name) had. I think I might want it custom made. So that means I need to find a seamstress...or learn how to sew, which I don't trust myself (as sad as that sounds) to make my own wedding dress. I might buckle down and buy a dress. Ugh. I'd like to go to a bridal shop and just try on gowns just to see which one screams me. I'd like to have a long train but not ridiculously long. I think 3 feet is long enough. I don't want a 12ft train that I have to have little people carrying down the aisle. I also like wedding dresses that have one stream of color on it. I'm thinking gold. I want to feel like royalty too. I know my fiance is going to have an awesome time doing this. I need to write down a couple of things while I'm at it. I need to figure out how many people I'd like to be at my wedding. I need to find a photographer that will take killer shots, I will be making a DVD of my wedding too. I won't have children under the age of 10 at my wedding because nothing drives me more insane than a baby crying during the most important part of my wedding...the vows. I mean can you just hear that, "With this ring I thee..." baby starts screaming "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I turn around and give the most demonic stare. Yeah that won't be pretty. I will put on the invitation, "You will be asked to leave if you show up with a baby." I will put that in red and in Spanish as well because the majority of my fiance's family does not speak English. Which reminds me, I need to make sure that the invitations AND the programs are in English AND in Spanish. I think what would be really awesome is if we do our vows half in English and half in Spanish.

Welp anywho, back to work!

So tired I want to scream...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:06:13 GMT

Have you ever had that feeling? It's the type of tired where your eyes cannot open past half way and you are dragging throught the day. It's kinda like the day is moving but you're not. I want to go home! I think I'm on vacation mode right now. I just want to crawl into my bed and just be lazy all day. Well...I'll do that on Wednesday. I just hate that we can't have a full week off. That would have been nice. Oh well. Whoever voted for 3 days of Thanksgiving Break needs to re-evaluate their sanity. I mean honestly, what was wrong with taking a week off? Gah!

Anywho, I'm going to go find some mundane thing to do...laterz.

Em

Omg...will the weekend come already?!?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:08:37 GMT

It is barely 2 o'clock and I'm looking longingly out the cold glass door windows. I want to be free!!!! (copywrite!)

Anywho, that will be the beginning of my new poem I suppose. Ha ha! Anywho, I'm so bored! I almost fell asleep too. Oooh! So I was hanging out with my fiance and stuff, and he tells me that he's gotten into this song by Ludacris. I'm sort of surprise by this because he never listens to rap. So anyways, he pops the music video on his laptop, and low and behold there is Ludacris. I forgot the name of the song, but that song was so awesome! I have it stuck in my head right now. So I'm going to have to look it up so that I can get it. It's hilarious. The lyrics are so wrong tho. I think I'm going to do some drawing when I get home. Friday=Freeday. I designate one day a week for fun, free from school. So today is my free day. I think I'm just going to chill. Also, this weekend, I'm staying home. I don't feel like going anywhere.

¡Ay dios mio, quiero dormir ahora! Yo necesito una siesta...cuando yo regreso a la casa voy a dormir por 30 minutos. Necesito un power nap. Quisas ver television o otras cosas. ¡Hace mucho frio! El frio es terrible, es possible por que estaba lloviendo durante la mañana esta frio ahora. Yo necesito saber los grados por ahora...voy a ver.

Welp, I'm going to just skiddadle and find some other mundane thing to do that will pass time. Chao!

Em

This is very interesting...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:42:49 GMT

So...yesterday afternoon after work my mother comes to me all excited and says, "You're a sister-in-law!!!" The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh Lord, really?" and did not show much enthusiasm at all. Which, I guess I should have shown some so that I wouldn't appear to be a heartless fill in the blank. I was just thinking to myself how it was a very strange feeling to know that so quickly by someone else's decisions, you can be put in a weird place. I have never met this guy, and I'm supposed to trust him with taking care of my sister. It didn't seem like she cared for our input as well. It was like, "Here is my husband and you all are going to like him whether you all like it or not." I dunno, but I would at least want someone to approve of my significant other. Now if they don't accept him because of his race, then they'll have to deal with it. Still, it's one of those things where I'm just weirded out. I don't know.

Maybe I'll attempt to get to know this guy. Or rather, I have to get to know him if I plan on seeing my nieces and nephews in the future. Well, I think my fiance and I are the only ones that is going to give a wedding for everyone to enjoy. So I'll make sure it's special. Speaking of, I need to make some small plans. It's not until 2011. So I don't have to freak out yet...I think I'll just focus on that. Getting ready to become a wife and all that fun stuff. Also, it's weird but I have Michael Jackson songs in my head...I guess it's because I saw the movie "This Is It". Which I will be buying.

I am finally able to go to the gym now! I'm so happy! Yesterday was my first day back and it felt wonderful. I went to the sauna, spent 15 mins on the eliptical machine (so I wouldn't over do it) then I did some crunches,and lifted weights for my arms. Today I'll be doing the same, but instead of weight lifting for my arms, it will be for my legs. I think I'll swim on Fridays. That will be a lot of fun. Swimming is great for the whole body. Probably after I do some cardio, I'll cool off in the pool. I think Saturday they have yoga. I think I'll give that a try. I've never taken a class in Yoga. It's at the crack of dawn tho. It's so early. I'll take a look at it on the website. Anywho, I'm off to surf or do something that requires some brain activity. Laterz!

Em

Air Show!

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:32:54 GMT

I love planes now. I went to the Wings Over Houston Air Show in Ellington Field with my fiance this weekend. It was awesome! We got to see this group called the Blue Angels and they were spectacular! They are a group of pilots that fly these jets and do all sorts of fun stuff with them. I mean, they can fly upside down and twist all around, go high and swoosh! It was so awesome! Then there was this SUPER HUGE plane that was bigger than an elementary school which was used to carry cargo and all that stuff! I'm like, "OMG! These planes are crazy cool!" Then afterwards my fiance took me out to eat, and by then we were so tired we didn't do anything else but sit and watch anime. I fell asleep but he relaxed. He was going on 24 hours being awake. So he was bound to crash.

And now I'm back...and it's daylight savings. There are some benefits to this kind of daylight savings. It feels like I get an extra hour of sleep, but it also feels like I have to stay at work longer. So I dunno if it's like a blessing or a curse. This morning was fantastic to sleep, but when I was waiting for my lunch break at work, I was going bananas! I was about to razmataz some one! Dude, I've been saying this word for quite a while...

RazmatazArazmataz</strong>. It means to mess someone up for bothing you and making things difficult for you.

I need to run today. I'm so tired! OMG! I need to do something exciting! I'm dragging right now! Ugh! It's one of those things that you know you need to find a solution to it, but you're so tired to do it and yet you're still compelled to do it. OMG! I'm rambling into a verbal salad! GAH!

Ok, this means that I need to stop typing.

Gday!
Emmerz

Jesus keep the goodness comin!

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:45:21 GMT

Tanjoubi Omedetou

Man, today is turning out to be one of the best days of my life! Wow! It's my birthday, I'm celebrating my 26th year of life. I'm slowly coming to acceptance of my not so good news about my health and knowing that I am in control and can do something about it. Work is actually fun today! People have been wishing me some "Happy Birthday" wishes and I just had a mini party! =^o^= And kids are so cool when they wish a happy birthday. They look so happy and stuff! This one child came to me and automatically wished me happy birthday in the morning because his birthday was on the same day as mine! He he! That makes me feel so special and I decided to automatically give him his birthday sticker. He he, I also gave him a high five too. Lol!

Tomorrow's Plans

This is going to be awesome! I'm going to be going to one of my favorite places, Carrabbas! Then go to Spotlight Karaoke to do some singing! This is going to be so fun! Who knows where else we're goin! I need to get a cute outfit and something awesome to wear. He he! I'll try to find a sash that says birthday girl or something. He he!

Who knows what else is going to happen?! I hope that the goodness never stops until...until forever! I want goodness to always happen everywhere I go and everytime I breathe! I even lost 10 lbs! I'm going for 20!

I'm really going to see how small I can go. I think that with my build I'm a petite person. I have no butt! He he! My frame appears to be for a petite person. I'm not going to be skinny skinny, but I will be small after I drop all these pounds. Anywho, I'm really excited right now. I could just squeal! Today is a good birthday for me. I thank the Lord that he's blessed me with another year of life. A healthier 26th year and counting! Weee!!!!

EmZ

Happy Birthday to MEEE!

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:15:12 GMT

My birthday is tomorrow! Wee! I think I enjoy when my special day comes and I just want to have a ball. I decided not to take off because I want to see what would happen at work on my birthday. So we'll see. So I'm going to karaoke my way to heaven. Shoot this is going to be awesome. Mebbe I'll go dancing too. I dunno. I just know I'm going to rock my socks off this weekend. I am making it a point to have fun and nothing but fun. Whoo! I might get a new shirt! Woot! Alrighty. I'm gone, just had to squeel for a bit. I'm bored...it's parent teacher conference day and I am sitting here pointing my fingers like a monkey, showing them that they don't have to sign in. The funny thing...it's all in Spanish. he he!

Ragamuffins! Just ragamuffins! (edited edition)

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:08:11 GMT

Yeah that other one was for me. I'm just irritated at the moment. I want to go outside and play, but I know that I won't be able to do that for...an hour and 20 minutes. By then the sun will have gone away and I'd have to go inside and read. Which I have to do anyways. So what I'm going to do is print all my crap and just go to a coffee place without my computer and read. I might update my ipod to my current play lists and just do that.

Random Thoughts of the Day

I wonder what I'll do after work. I need a day where I can just space out and do nothing. I want to go somewhere and breathe clean air (ha ha! Not in Houston!) and think. Think about how I could change something about me and for the better. What bad habits can I get rid of to better myself. There we go, I could wash clothes every Saturday morning. I could get my lazy bum up and just wash the clothes I'd worn over the week. I've noticed that I don't have a set day to wash clothes because I get annoyed by doing work. Also, I want to try to finish all my reading that I have to do for the week before Friday. This week I have a WHOLE BUNCH of chapters to read. So I think I'm going to do that today instead of respond to people. I think I shall have a no computer day until I have finished reading. Then if I have time, which I highly doubt but anyway, try to do something that will qualify as exercise. Whether it is playing the Wii or dancing. Something to be active. Even if it is for 15 minutes. It's 15 minutes that you didn't spend on your butt.

End of Random Thoughts of the Day

I've decided to buy a domain. That way my web design concepts aren't lost. I'm going to keep a binder with all the codes written in color. That way I will have no issues...wait...I'm going to buy colors!!!! OOOH! I'm going to go out and buy some markers! I have run low on markers so I'm going to take my happy butt to Walmart and get some markers! WOOOO!!!! YAY! I'm going to get the ultimate color pack! Ok, I'm excited, now I have something to look forward to at the end of the day! In addition to reading! Need to make reading time fun! Fun fun fun fun fun!!!! Oooh! I could change my binder to

HTML and JavaScript Codes

Then get some dividers and separate dividers according to functions. Ooh! I could be a nerd and try to have all the html colors memorized...ok I'm having fun with this. This is WONDERFUL! It will be my code bible!

Okies ¡nos vemos!
Em

I'm melting!!! MELTING!!!

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:24:31 GMT

Gosh I feel like I'm melting right now. I haven't eaten all day because I have to give blood. Just regular check up. I'm starving, and I called the office to see if I had to be 100% starving, and the lady told me that I could have eaten breakfast...-_- I told her that they didn't even tell me that!!! GAH! Oh well, so right now I feel like I'm melting to the floor. What I could do is build up to what I'm going to eat later tonight! I think I shall have a feast! I don't really have too much homework...or probably catch up on the chapters that I didn't read for my class ::bites lip:: he he...but I don't wanna read! I wanna be free! Lol, listen to that procrastination! I tell ya!

Anywho, I'm just chillaxin right now at my post. Really wish I could be somewhere else. I want to go to the museum and look around for inspiration. Perhaps I can coax the boyfriend into going to one. Since he no longer works at a museum. It could be very educational and relaxing. So, yeah, I think I'll talk with him and say, "Sweetums, can we go to the museum? I haven't been in so long and I'd like some inspiration." Also I'm getting writer's and painter's block. I have no idea how my story is going to pan out. I mean, I need to write a death scene and that is going to be depressing. So I gotta be in the mood to write it. I don't like being depressed but I know that is what my story needs. I wanted some sort of tragedy for the main character so that the story can get interesting. It's like everything is going perfect and then POOF something crappy happens to ruin it. Then the aftermath you get to see how life goes after death. I am still trying to think of a title for my book because I don't want it to be stupid. I don't want it to sound cliche and I don't want the book to be misinterpreted by the chapter. I need to find quiet time to just really write the book out. Then I'll edit. I must do self editing. I don't want someone to just ruin my book by editing the bejesus out of it.

I also need to have a clear head. I need to read my book that helps with writers block. It has some awesome advice, but again, procrastination hits and it's like, "I wanna go play!" I will say that I was proud of myself last night for playing Super Swing Season 2 and getting Gold Medals in all 4 courses! I can golf! Woot!

Alright time to get back to work. Hopefully I'll live! Ugh, I'm tired of drinking water to curb my appetite! GAH!

Ah, the weekend is near!

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:32:06 GMT

So, I am sitting here at my desk counting down the minutes until it is time for me to begin my weekend! I got to finish my website for my class and then work on our group project. Which should be very nice to do because basically our website will help use decide what is needed in our project. Also, kudos to me, I think I might be on to something when it comes to web design! I was speaking with someone who might need a project. So I'm praying for favor...Anywho I've got this killer awesome song stuck in my head called "Superstar" by Dynamic Duo and it is AWESOME! I'm going to listen to it while I do my web page. Then my next class will be Web Develpment 2! I'm going to go look at syllabus now!

Kyou wa kayoubi desu

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:56:31 GMT

Well, I'm so sleepy today but for a good reason! I just made a Korean rap and R&B CD! Oh my gosh! I love this group called Dynamic Duo because omg these dudes can rap! Wow! It's so funny because I was speaking with my cousin last night and we were talking about how here the rap is starting to sound the same and discuss the same topics (hence why I don't listen to it) and I was telling him about this group and he wanted to hear them. Unfortunately, my computer likes to waste CDs and when I tried to put the songs on one it decided to recor 20 seconds of the first song and then bugger up the rest of them. I was like, "I know you didn't!" So I stayed up last night until 12:30 making the cds and man I'm going to be jammin in my car today! I need to find out how much a thingy costs that I can plug into my car to use my iPod. I know it's affordable. That way I can save my CDs for something else. Anywho, yeah, Rain and Dynamic Duo are my favorites for right now. Then there is Lyn. Lyn is AWESOME! She has this song called "Love...it's all lies" and MY GOODNESS! She sounds incredible in it! I think I'm going to find some CDs of her and get them exported over here!

Other news, I just sent off for my friend's cards. I hope they come back looking good because if they don't I'll give them an ear full! I think I'm going to go look at Best Buy.com now and see if they have that thing for my car. I want to get a new stero too. I also want to put tint on my windows because it gets hotter than Satan's toenails in my car. My goodness! I road in my sister's car, and dude it is so awesome how it cools down dramatically with her tinted windows. So I think I'm going to do some research and see if I can get my windows tinted. Alrighty, I'm going to skiddadle! Keep it real!

Em

What a wonderful start to the weekend (part 2)

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:21:17 GMT

Ah! I'm so excited! I can finally finish my client's work! Whoo!

I'm thanking the Lord right now because I'm just so thrilled that I had someone believe in me and coach me with my stuff! I need to start working on my website! So I can advertise because that's when you guys will know what I do! (*if you don't already know ::wink::). Anywho, I'm going to treat myself to something nice for din din. Laterz my peeps!

Em

Ah!! What a wonderful start to the weekend! (part 1)

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:52:14 GMT

I'm utterly happy right now because the Lord is so good to me! I've been praying about this and I'm so glad that he is going to be helping me out the whole way! In a way, I've sorta already received my new job! I prayed that I would love my employer (and I do!); that I'd love my coworkers (and I do!); and that I would enjoy what I do (and I do!)...I work for myself! I believe that through my ancestry, there were entrepreneurs. I believe I've inherited that spirit. My grandmother was one. I think that for some reason, it had hadn't been successful because there were certain things that they hadn't learned yet. So I believe that each generation gets a step closer to their dreams than the last one. That's what Joel Olsteen was talking about. Ancestral blessings! He stated in one sermon that maybe someone in my ancestry had the chance to become what you've dreamt to become, but for some reason or another, was unable to. However each generation gets one step closer than the last one. So I believe that I'm going to knock down some barriers that have been held up in my family for some reason. I've already knocked one down. I'm proud to say that I am the first woman in my entire family that has a Bachelor's degree. My mother told me that her grandmother, mother, her aunts, and cousins (that she knows of) has never recieved anything higher than a high school diploma, and not even that. My dad's side, none of the women in his family have a degree (yet...) I was the first to break that barrier and make it visible that we as women in my family can and will be educated. It was so cool how my mom came up to me when I got my first degree, and said to me, "Emily, because I saw you walk across that stage and got your diploma, it inspired me that it is not too late for me to get my degree." She enrolled to an online college and is now pursuing her degree in Education and Special Education. I'm so proud of her!

So anywho, I've decided to be an entreprenuer. Of course I'm not going to quit my current job because, you have to have money to make money. I don't believe in dropping what I have now to make myself happy. To me that is kinda childish because then you have no income and you'd be really struggling from paycheck to paycheck. Anywho, I am going to start small and then build my corporation. I admire Tyler Perry and I think I'm going to read more about how he succeeded to be the first black man to own his own filming company. Perhaps I can learn more about how he did. I mean, his movies are very entertaining and very funny and they are soo good! Every single black guy that he casts as the lover guy is drop dead gorgeous!!!

Oop! Client is here! bbl!

Em

Vegetarianism

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:06:20 GMT

Yeah, I'm thinkin about it. I feel that it is a healthier alternative, but I'm not too quick to hop on the bandwagon either. I'm going to do some more research. I just feel that we do need a little meat for the protein. Plus as a meat eater, it would be very hard to just stop in-taking meat all together. So far, I've had one day that I didn't eat meat and it was alright. I did feel lighter that day. Perhaps I should just start with eliminating beef. I know that beef is not that great for you. Then again, I do like steak and burgers. Meh, I'll write more on this later.

No way! Why do I have to change, they're the ones who suck!

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:32:52 GMT

Famous quote from the movie the Office, from the character Michael Bolton when asked the question, "Why don't you go by Mike?" because he was tired of people asking him if he was related to the singer.

That's exactly how I feel about when people question my motives on why I date interracialy and that I should be concerned about what people think when they look at me and my spouse. Screw that! Why should I have to change the way I feel about dating people regardless of their race? When I found out in high school that I was different from the black kids at the school, I was sick and tired of trying to "fit in" to the mold of what a black person was supposed to be. To the media and to the stereotype, this is what a black person is:

Lazy.
Listening only to Hip Hop, Rap, and R&B ONLY.
Speaking Ebonics all the time.
Dating blacks and ONLY blacks.
Names that no body can pronounce that are made up.
Don't give a damn about working in this world.
Uneducated.
Drive Escalades with 20" or more rims.
Closed-minded.
Always ready to point the finger when it comes to racism.
Caucasian haters.
Only speaks one langauge (English, and it is not even spoken correctly.

The list goes on!

What is up with people who just are stupid and believe this crap! I swear, I really want to ask them why they think the way do, and why they seem to drop their Illusory Correlations about blacks. I believe that there is one race and that is the human race. People should be able to date and marry WHOM EVER THEY PLEACE REGARDLESS OF THEIR RACE OR WHATEVER IT IS PEOPLE SAY THAT THEY CAN'T BE WITH THE PERSON WHOM THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH! I am so irritated! LOVE IS COLORLESS! WHEN WILL PEOPLE EVER REALIZE THAT! WE ARE SUPPOSE TO MIX! WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS! OMG!

I for one do not ONLY listen to Hip-Hop, Rap, and R&B, I listen to World Music that contains those genres.

I hate ebonics and whoever made it up should be shot.

I do NOT date only blacks. I date more than black thank you. In fact, I will be marrying a hispanic gentleman.

My name is easy to pronounce. In fact, it is an English name. Meaning from England.

I have a job, and I aim to keep it that way.

I am about to earn my SECOND degree in September. Did you see that? SECOND degree.

I drive a Corolla.

My mind is so open, that people can even see inside it.

I am not a racist thumper. Only when someone is out-right and blatantly making it obvious that they despise me.

I do not hate Caucasian people...95% of my friends are non-black.

I am bilingual in Spanish, and am about to add 3 new languages, Japanese, Chinese, and Korean. And guess what? I'm learning these languages because I WANT to. I'm making extra effort because I love learning languages, is that lazy of me? I don't think so!

I swear, I am going to have a conniption! I can't stand it how people assume that I am all those negative things and more whenever they approach me. Like they have their mind up that I'm some dumb nigger from the streets! Yes I'm using the term for it's literal meaning.

Nigger-a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, etc. here is the link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nigger.

I am NOT nor will I EVER be one. I HATE how people assume that every black person is one. I refuse to let ANYONE believe that I am ignorant. This is giving me so much fuel to finish my books on racism and interrcial love. Damn it, I'm going to finish it. Be sure to check the shelves in your local bookstore because I'm going to be writing a crap load of romance novels that are strictly on interracial love, just so people will understand that they don't HAVE to stick to one race. Open your mind and stop believing this lie that you should stick with your own race. You are only adding to the stupidity of this world. Don't let the world make a fool out of you. The whole, "Dating the same race just makes everything easier" is bull. People only say that because they refuse to open their minds, that maybe their significant other has different skin than they do.

Peace.
Em

"Race ain't nothin but a color" ~me

It's back up again! wee!

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:53:11 GMT

Whoo, I had to refresh the browswer because on the side bar it had some stupid LA Fashion dress-up doll thing and that would have been looking questionable coming from my screen. So to avoid confusion and mayhem, I decided to refresh the screen.

Anyways! Good news:

I can blog again at work! I wonder why it was blocked off?? Oh well. Anywho, I'm so excited right now! Wee! I get to do Web development! I might be practicing here on livejournal because it let's you do html stuff. So yay! I just learned that there are new bracket thingys that I have to use instead of the ones for bold and what not. So that is going to be fun! It's awesome. I'm also getting into CSS too! OHMUGAWSH! (that will be my version of the overwhelmingly pleasing OMG) CSS is AWESOME!!! I wonder if livejournal will let me use CSS. I should prolly look it up!

Oh well, I tried to do some CSS on here, and don't think it's gonna work. Oh well. So I'm off to go give a child a lunch. Might bbl! Chau!

Emz

Life...it's worth changing. We can never live the same way forever.

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:57:26 GMT

Yeah, as I'm riding home with my friend we have a cool discussion. As we're talking we seem to be getting on a tangent and it kind of made me think about my life and where I'm headed. Some people may agree or disagree with my decisions but that's just them. This is me I'm talking about. If I'm ok with my decisions, then I'm fine. The important thing is this, will I be happy with myself. It's kinda like that. You have to kinda live to make yourself happy. So many times I get caught up in other people's feelings and emotions that I start making it my emotions. I am tired of it. So many times it happens with people who love you. Actually that's where it comes the most. So what do you do? You have to separate yourself and look into your mind and your heart. Decide what you're going to do, and run with it without looking left or right, but looking straight ahead. I mean, it's just like that. Funny how our conversation was very awesome and we had some realizations just popping out.

I've been trying to make that change over these past few months and it's been kind of bumpy. I feel that each person has their road to walk on. Despite the bumps, curves, and ditches that they encounter, they should still keep straight towards their destination. It's like driving a car on a road in a rainy day (by the way, these words are copyrighted, because I'm going to be writing a book about this.) and the rain is coming down so hard and even though you have your windshield wipers on, you still can't see a darn thing! So, what do you do? You just have faith that you will make it though the rain and just follow the white lines and watch the road. That's what I'm doing, I'm just following the white lines of life, and turning whenever the road turns because I know that I'll get back on the straight path again. Maybe I'll pull over and rest my eyes a bit.

So anyways, I'm going to continue my journey, and despite how people may feel about what I'm doing and whether or not they support it, I'm going to do what makes me happy and have enough confidence in myself to do whatever I need to do to be happy.

Em

Inspired

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:22:11 GMT

Ok, so I'm very happy that my business is going quite well. I so far have 2 clients! The recent one decided after looking at my art, that he really wanted to me to do a painting for him. I was thinking to myself that by word of mouth, there could be great things. I need to think of another name for my company, because the one I'm using now apparently...there could be some legal conflicts. So I'm going to be brainstorming. I think I'm going to make up a world or something. I'm just really glad that some people like my paintings.

(by the way if you'd like to see: clickhere)

So I'm also going to post some more paintings too. I think I'll do that now! Overall, I'm really proud of what I do now, and the more people see, the more people will discover, the more people I draw. That's awesome! Yay!

Later
EmZ

Forwarning

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 19:27:58 GMT

As many of you know, blogging is very therapeutic. Well at least to me. So in the next couple of months, my blogs may get a bit repetitive. So bear with me. My sister is being deployed and I'm going to be letting out some emotions. So I may put them in private or display. Depends on how crazy they are. Anyways, just keep me in prayer and just bear with me. Alrighty, see ya!

Emz

Why why why why why why why why why why!?!?!?!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 21:12:35 GMT

When someone asks you for your advice about issues such as bad boyfriends and why they do them wrong, and you give them advice, and they agree with you and SAY that they are going to do something about it. Then you get a call exactly 2 weeks later, and they are in the same situation, you asked them what happened, and they respond, "Well, we talked about it and he promised me that he'll do better." and this is the n-teenth time that this person has responded this way, it makes you want to strap this person to the back of your car (both the one asking for advice and the person doing harm) with their feet dangling to the ground, where it's just enough for them to pop their feet up once from getting burned, and drive 500 miles playing the songs that deal with getting on your own without the other person because they know they aren't good for eachother. Maybe then they will listen to you. While you drive off screaming at the top of your lungs, "Why won't you listen to me?!?!?! ARG!

I am going to play Pangya now! I need to hit a few balls.

EmZ

Speechless...in a good way

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:45:27 GMT

This is an excerpt from this daily devotional I read called "Streams In the Desert" I encourage people who are going through tough times, especially in this economic crap that's going on. I swear when I read it today in the midst of what just started and what I'm going through right now, I feel more at peace:

June 29, 2009

The Living God

"O Daniel, servant of the living God, is thy God whom thou servest continually, able to deliver thee" (Dan. 6:20).

How many times we find this expression in the Scriptures, and yet it is just this very thing that we are so prone to lose sight of. We know it is written "the living God"; but in our daily life there is scarcely anything we practically so much lose sight of as the fact that God is the living God; that He is now whatever He was three or four thousand years since; that He has the same sovereign power, the same saving love towards those who love and serve Him as ever He had and that He will do for them now what He did for others two, three, four thousand years ago, simply because He is the living God, the unchanging One. Oh, how therefore we should confide in Him, and in our darkest moments never lose sight of the fact that He is still and ever will be the living God!

Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you. An older brother who has known the Lord for forty-four years, who writes this, says to you for your encouragement that He has never failed him. In the greatest difficulties, in the heaviest trials, in the deepest poverty and necessities, He has never failed me; but because I was enabled by His grace to trust Him He has always appeared for my help. I delight in speaking well of His name. --George Mueller

Luther was once found at a moment of peril and fear, when he had need to grasp unseen strength, sitting in an abstracted mood tracing on the table with his finger the words, "Vivit! vivit!" ("He lives! He lives!"). It is our hope for ourselves, and for His truth, and for mankind. Men come and go; leaders, teachers, thinkers speak and work for a season, and then fall silent and impotent. He abides. They die, but He lives. They are lights kindled, and, therefore, sooner or later quenched; but He is the true light from which they draw all their brightness, and He shines for evermore. --Alexander Maclaren

"One day I came to know Dr. John Douglas Adam," writes C. G. Trumbull. "I learned from him that what he counted his greatest spiritual asset was his unvarying consciousness of the actual presence of Jesus. Nothing bore him up so, he said, as the realization that Jesus was always with him in actual presence; and that this was so independent of his own feelings, dependent of his deserts, and independent of his own notions as to how Jesus would manifest His presence.

"Moreover, he said that Christ was the home of his thoughts. Whenever his mind was free from other matters it would turn to Christ; and he would talk aloud to Christ when he was alone--on the street, anywhere--as easily and naturally as to a human friend. So real to him was Jesus' actual presence.

Lord help me see you in the midst of my struggles.
Help me make my decisions with your word in mind.
Be with me so that I will never lose hope in my dreams, in my visions, and in myself.
I will be a warrior through this time of strife.
I will work as hard as I can knowing that you will provide me with the adequate rest needed to stay afloat in this raging sea.
Thank you for all that you have done for me to be able to pray this to you.
Thank you for all that I have. For a family who would die for me, for friends who will understand when I cannot be with them at times and will not think harshly because I cannot be with them.
I thank you most of all for a man who understands my financial needs and who has given all he can to help me, even when he has nothing. He gives me the most. Thank you Lord, I ask that you bless everyone who has come in contact with me. I pray for all of my friends who are struggling right along with me, that you see to it that they are taken care of, that they will get out of their strife right now.

Thank you for a financial break through for all of my family, friends, and for myself. I ask you for these things in Jesus' name, Amen.

Everyone, have a blessed day!

EmZ

Tired in many ways...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:35:34 GMT

I am so tire of people misunderstanding me, my motives, and my way of doing things. it's almost as if I am some sort of out of control bitch or something! I'm also thinking that my parents think I'm dillusional or just plain crazy. what irritates me most is people who cannot find ot within themselves to say they are sorry. It just makes me mad that I'm still viewed as a child and reprimanded and I'm 25! ZOMG!. ::sigh::

I am just sitting here thinking on this and how I can look at this and not let it drive me nuts and make me want t do any thing brash. I think I might have caused a ruckus in the family...Sorry.(said like Dave Chappelle.

Well just wanted to get that out my head. I am typing this via my Motorila Q. Apparentely this is a nice phone. well...sleep is taking over and changing my words a lot. chau!

Em

Irritation...it's hot

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:12:55 GMT

Why is it so damn hot? It makes me feel like crap every time I wake up in my hot sticky bed. Then I won't be able to enjoy sleeping in! It's hot in my room every morning and it's like ugh! Then what really sucks is that I live with my parents and if they see me up in the morning, they find some mundane thing for me to do around the house that could probably wait. It's like, GAH!

As SOON as I get my career off the ground, I am moving out. I need to get out naoh! ugh! I am 25, I should be out of my parents house by now! This sucks ass! Ugh! Ok, this is really makeing me mad, I'm going to go play Chuzzle.

Last full day of school!!

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:34:41 GMT

...and I'm already about to lose it with these bakas! baka baka baka!!! UGH! (Don't know what it means, look it up in the Japanese-English dictionary) UGH! I can't stand hard-headed people. They just go around the school like they own the darn place and ugh! I am surrounded by bakas! Oh and this morning was especially annoying because you have an awards ceremony and afterwards the parents take the back way to go to the classroom, instead of asking if they can go to the classroom. Has anyone ever heard of security? I swear, there should be a police officer located on each elementary school campus, ready to question parents why they are entering the school without permission. Oh and I really hate it when the parents speak Spanish and use that as an excuse of not understanding what I'm telling them, and then when I tell them in Spanish, "Oh! I didn't know." BULL SHIT! You mean to tell me that just because you don't speak English it is ok to ignore the rules of a facility?!? It's called common sense! You don't just go into a bank and walk behind the counter to go get your money right? I don't have to translate the rules into Spanish when it is so clear that you do not walk on to a campus, and expect to walk to a classroom and not get questioned. Seriously! I can't stand that.

It is the end of the damn school year! People tend to do crazy stuff around this time, and I am not going to have some child kidnapped on my clock. No sir! Ugh! Also, I cannot stand that at the end of the school year, there are a lot of parents who do not know the name of their child's teacher. IT IS AT THE END OF THE EFFING YEAR!!!!!! How do you make it to the end of the school year and not know your child's teacher's name? That's why that child is going to repeat the grade that they are in because you don't spend time with them! You don't give a damn about them so much that you don't even bother to know their teacher's freaking name! It is the end of the damn school year!!!

Also, people need to get over black people speaking Spanish. We are here to stay. I get really annoyed when people come up to me and they are like, "You don't speak Spanish, huh?" and then when someone light complected comes up, or someone who is hispanic comes up, they end the conversation with me very quickly and gravitate to that person and just dismiss me. THEN talk about you while they are at it. I'm like, wtf man?!? Apparently you're an idiot. You're sitting there talking about me in my face and you have NO idea what I have and what I can or cannot do! This discrimination has got to stop! Man, I had to deal with this crap a couple of days ago I answered the phone at work and of course the first thing they say, "Someone speak Spanish?" so I answer politely, "Si, yo hablo español." So they continue to speak and she asks me when sumer school is. So I told her the date, and she goes, (keep in mind this is in spanish) "Well this black lady told me the wrong date. I don't think she knows what she's doing. She can't speak Spanish and she said this and that and this and that." I was hot and mad. So then I go, "Pues, yo soy la morena y había un otro persona quien me dijo una fecha diferente y busque en el sitio para la fecha correcta. Lo siento para el otro dia." Which means, "Well I'm that black lady and there was another person who told me a different date and so I looked on the site for the correct date and now I'mt elling you the correct date. I'm sorry for the confusion." So basically I professionaly told her off. So she gives this nervous laugh and apologized profusely.

She knew she was wrong. ugh...now more people are coming to bother me...

EmZ

One and a half more days of school left!

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:07:23 GMT

Oh GAWD I'm so excited! No more children! NO MORE CHILDREN! Summer has given me an incentive to go gung ho on looking for another job! I think I'm going to focus on what I have. I have a degree in Psychology so I could try to find work that offers insurance in this line of work. I'll just have to brush up on my Psych books and stuff. I think I'm going to really study the lobes of the brain again. I loved learning about that because it was so fascinating. Perhaps I could go to U of H and see if they need any help with doing research. Well...that would be volunteer work tho...that would be pointless. Ugh, you know how it's like, you know you need to do something quick but your options don't seem to be gravitating toward you? It's nuts. My dad just decided to load me up on bills that he's been paying for me, fully aware that my paycheck won't even cover 100%. I'm like, "Seriously, are you really going to f*** up my credit even more?" I'm going to ask him why all of a sudden he's deciding to do this. Now for him to actually listen, that will take an act of congress. My dad is hard headed and doesn't like to listen to anyone.

Men

Anywho, I think I'm going to go take some online quizzes right now. I'm bored. There are awards ceremonies and stuff going on and I quite frankly don't care if your child is the best bulls***er. They can kiss my...

EmZ